Get the Word out!

The Proverbs 31 Man

The type of woman that I expected to marry when I was younger (and unsaved) is completely different from what I would look for today. After I got saved, any time someone brought up the subject of marriage, the “proverbs 31” woman was the template of the type of woman that Christian men should look for. The problem is they’re really hard to find. One reason for this is that many women (and men) who are in the church aren’t saved. They can’t be the “proverbs 31” woman because they don’t have the source of her strength. The second reason that “proverbs 31” is hard to find is because I don’t know that we’re supposed to be looking for her. While it would be amazing to find someone like this, the truth is that they are maturing and are at different levels in their spiritual walk and to try and fit them into the “mold” isn’t fair to them.

I thought about this and something struck me. All the focus seems to always be placed on the woman. While she has an important part in the family, she’s not the only one. The majority of verses found in Proverbs 31 do focus on the woman and the amazing things that she does for her family. But, there are some verses that have to do with the husband and they are often overlooked and usually aren’t talked about. Looking at scripture, the woman isn’t the only part of the family and it is important that Christians not only realize this but live it out.

So, let’s look at the few verses that mention the husband:

Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.

The husband of the Proverbs 31 woman has a heart that trusts in her. He shows her grace and knows that she will do what is best for her and her family. Because he trusts his wife, he can focus on the things that he needs to do to support his family. Because of their deep, trusting relationship, the husband carries that deep love they share and it helps drive him on.

Pro 31:12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

While this just mentions the husband in passing, it still speaks some important things. The man has a wife who does him good. This can only happen when the man fulfills his duties as a husband and treats his wife like a woman of God. Their relationship is lasting because she will do her husband good all the days of her life. There is no wavering in the love they have for one another and it shows in how they act and react to everything that happens.

Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

The gates were where all the important business of the city took place. The judges passed sentence on criminals. They decided the minutest disputes with wisdom and honor; and this husband was a part of all of the business. He displayed wisdom and this allowed him to sit among the elders. This is not something that happened lightly (unlike today).

Pro 31:28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”

Here is one thing that I feel safe in saying many husbands don’t do much of. The husband of the woman praises her. Just like her work and love carry him in trials, so his praises carry her. Regardless of anything, his love for her causes him to tell her that while many other wives have been good to their husbands, she has done so much more than they and he wants her to know that. Because of the husband’s treatment of his wife, the children they have together follow his lead and bless their mother for the person that she is.

The portrayal of the husband that is found in Proverbs 31 (if it’s looked for) shows some things that many people overlook. I hope that the husbands who name the name of Christ strive to look like the man found in Proverbs 31. I hope that they treat their wives like this man does and the women strive to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. The men and women who belong to Christ need to live out the truth of marriage in front of their families, their churches, and those in the world. It shows them all how Christ loves His bride and rejuvenates fellow believers by reminding of this love so they can endure.

Is this how your marriage looks? Are you the husband of Proverbs 31 (or 1 Peter, or Ephesians, or Colossians)? If not, let me encourage you to love your wives like Christ loves the church. Are you the wife of Proverbs 31? Are you striving to take care of your family? I’m not talking about making extra money. I’m talking about raising your kids and nurturing them. I’m talking about raising them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. If not, let me encourage you to strive to be more like the bride of Christ and live in truth.