The Proverbs 31 Man

November 2, 2009 at 3:57 pm | Posted in Christianity | Leave a comment
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The type of woman that I expected to marry when I was younger (and unsaved) is completely different from what I would look for today. After I got saved, any time someone brought up the subject of marriage, the “proverbs 31” woman was the template of the type of woman that Christian men should look for. The problem is they’re really hard to find. One reason for this is that many women (and men) who are in the church aren’t saved. They can’t be the “proverbs 31” woman because they don’t have the source of her strength. The second reason that “proverbs 31” is hard to find is because I don’t know that we’re supposed to be looking for her. While it would be amazing to find someone like this, the truth is that they are maturing and are at different levels in their spiritual walk and to try and fit them into the “mold” isn’t fair to them.

I thought about this and something struck me. All the focus seems to always be placed on the woman. While she has an important part in the family, she’s not the only one. The majority of verses found in Proverbs 31 do focus on the woman and the amazing things that she does for her family. But, there are some verses that have to do with the husband and they are often overlooked and usually aren’t talked about. Looking at scripture, the woman isn’t the only part of the family and it is important that Christians not only realize this but live it out.

So, let’s look at the few verses that mention the husband:

Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.

The husband of the Proverbs 31 woman has a heart that trusts in her. He shows her grace and knows that she will do what is best for her and her family. Because he trusts his wife, he can focus on the things that he needs to do to support his family. Because of their deep, trusting relationship, the husband carries that deep love they share and it helps drive him on.

Pro 31:12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

While this just mentions the husband in passing, it still speaks some important things. The man has a wife who does him good. This can only happen when the man fulfills his duties as a husband and treats his wife like a woman of God. Their relationship is lasting because she will do her husband good all the days of her life. There is no wavering in the love they have for one another and it shows in how they act and react to everything that happens.

Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

The gates were where all the important business of the city took place. The judges passed sentence on criminals. They decided the minutest disputes with wisdom and honor; and this husband was a part of all of the business. He displayed wisdom and this allowed him to sit among the elders. This is not something that happened lightly (unlike today).

Pro 31:28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”

Here is one thing that I feel safe in saying many husbands don’t do much of. The husband of the woman praises her. Just like her work and love carry him in trials, so his praises carry her. Regardless of anything, his love for her causes him to tell her that while many other wives have been good to their husbands, she has done so much more than they and he wants her to know that. Because of the husband’s treatment of his wife, the children they have together follow his lead and bless their mother for the person that she is.

The portrayal of the husband that is found in Proverbs 31 (if it’s looked for) shows some things that many people overlook. I hope that the husbands who name the name of Christ strive to look like the man found in Proverbs 31. I hope that they treat their wives like this man does and the women strive to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. The men and women who belong to Christ need to live out the truth of marriage in front of their families, their churches, and those in the world. It shows them all how Christ loves His bride and rejuvenates fellow believers by reminding of this love so they can endure.

Is this how your marriage looks? Are you the husband of Proverbs 31 (or 1 Peter, or Ephesians, or Colossians)? If not, let me encourage you to love your wives like Christ loves the church. Are you the wife of Proverbs 31? Are you striving to take care of your family? I’m not talking about making extra money. I’m talking about raising your kids and nurturing them. I’m talking about raising them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. If not, let me encourage you to strive to be more like the bride of Christ and live in truth.

Design of the Week 04/09/08 – Bald Guys

April 9, 2008 at 9:42 am | Posted in Designs of the Week | Leave a comment
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Today’s feature came from the story of Elisha in 2 Kings 2:23-24. In this passage, Elisha has just performed a miracle for the city of Jericho. The land of the city was unfruitful and the water was unpalatable. The people of Jericho came to Elisha and asked him to do something for them. Elisha then took a new jar full of salt and threw it into the spring waters. He then declared that the Lord had purified the water and that there would no longer be death or unfruitfulness.


He then went to Bethel. On the way there, a number of young men (more than 42) came out and, seeing Elisha, made fun of him. They taunted him saying, “Go up you baldhead! Go up you baldhead!” When he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord and went on his way. Then, two female bears came out from the woods and killed (tore up!) 42 of the young men.


Whenever I read this, I think of the lack of respect that many young people have for those who are older than they are. Many of the youth have been led to a place where they don’t want to listen to those who have already been where they are. They would rather mock, tease, and taunt their elders. They take no interest in the advice and wisdom that these men and women may have. Instead, they look to their friends and peers to give them advice that they use to make decisions on. I’m reminded of the blind leading the blind…


I’m not going to throw all of this on the youth though. There are many adults and elders that don’t get any respect because they haven’t earned it. Many adults think that just because they’re older or because their in ministries or positions of leadership in the church, they have the right to tell others what they should do. This is especially apparent in youth ministries. There are many today who seem to think that because they are the youth pastor or involved with youth ministry that they can just speak into the lives of the youth. They lead how they want, teach what they want, and try to command the youth. They expect total and unwavering obedience from the youth without question. For one, that’s unheard of. Two, that’s not scriptural. If those youth are saved, then they are brothers and sisters in Christ and need to be seen that way. You need to earn their respect. You can’t demand it from them. Well, you can, but you won’t get it and you won’t have the connection that you need to truly speak to them. If they’re not saved, then commanding them to be obedient to something that they don’t understand is just going to turn them away from Christ…


Those in the younger generations need to have respect for their elders because they’ve been there. They have faced a lot of things that youth face and can give scriptural advice that will keep them from making mistakes. Those in the older generations need to see the youth for who they are. They need to remember that they were young and dumb once and that the youth need leaders who are actually concerned about them and are doing everything that they can to help them live a life that glorifies God. We need to take care of our youth and teach them to understand and apply scripture to their lives so that when we’re gone, the body of Christ will continue to grow and flourish.

Does the world need “Elders”?

July 27, 2007 at 11:36 am | Posted in Christianity | 1 Comment
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I will readily admit that I’m behind on the news that is going on. I am still working a daily job, as well as preparing for a huge church function, preparing to coach my daughter’s soccer team, researching my next sermon, and trying to get all my thoughts together on my new venture: an online evangelistic t-shirt company.

Even with all of that going on, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write on something that seemed so grossly out of place and just plain weird. The news item in question is the announcement of a group of “Elders” that will use their combined wisdom and insight to help solve the “global community’s” problems. The group of Elders includes Kofi Annan, Desmond Tutu, Gro Harlem Brundtland, Mary Robinson, Jimmy Carter, Li Zhaoxing, Muhammad Yunus, Ela Bhatt, Graca Machel, and Nelson Mandela. 

Not to be rude, blunt, or sound ignorant, but I don’t know most of the people listed and regardless of whether I know who they are or not, why are they the ones “chosen” to be Elders? The group was proposed by millionaire Richard Branson (Virgin Records) and Peter Gabriel. Is this really the type of people that should be choosing “wise” men? Does this group represent the type of wisdom that the world needs? Many of the members of the Elders are pro-homosexual , pro-abortion, and pro-population control. Is that what the world needs? Maybe it’s kind of like this: “If we can’t keep you from being born, then we’ll keep you from reproducing, and if we can’t do that, then when you’re old enough to not fight us off, we’ll euthanize you”. Sure, it’s brash but how close to the truth is it? Continue Reading Does the world need “Elders”?…

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