It’s ok to spank your kids now…

December 14, 2007 at 4:05 pm | Posted in Christianity | 13 Comments
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The American College of Pediatricians has recently put out a statement about their position on spanking children. They agree that spanking is ok to use if used properly. All of this comes in light of the state of Massachusetts looking at banning that form of discipline and the UN trying to get countries to ban it as well.

One pediatrician said “that spanking is most appropriate for children 2 to 6 years old when other milder forms of discipline don’t work” and should be rarely used after the age of 10. The ACP has made a handout the goes over their guidelines for spanking kids. It also gives other, milder forms (about 4) of discipline that should be used before spanking.

I just want to start by saying two things:

First, if your kids are not listening to you, WHOOP ‘EM!

Second, I really don’t think that discipline is the whole problem…

Before I go on, let me say that I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, in favor of beating your kids. I do think that a lot of people can get out of hand with whooping their kids, but these people have other problems that they need to deal with…

I think that this is one issue that has helped to bring about the condition of our kids today. Would all of these shootings be happening if the kids had gotten whooped when they were little? Would there be as much promiscuity and sexual immorality among our teens and pre-teens today if they were getting whooped? I doubt it.

The Bible says, in Proverbs 13:24, “He who withholds the rod hates his son, but he that loves his son disciplines him diligently”. If you’re not spanking your kids, according to scripture, you hate your son…

First of all, if you disagree with whooping your kids, then that is up to you. But I know from experience that it is going to be more difficult for you the older your kids get. If you don’t spank your kids because you want them to know that you love them or you want to be your friend, then you are mistaken. Spanking your kids will let them know that you love them, even if it doesn’t seem like it at that moment.

I truly think that a lack of discipline is part of the reason that younger generations are the way they are. But, as I said above, I think that that is only part of the problem. I think another HUGE part of the problem is the lack of follow through by parents who threaten to spank their kids. I was in the library last week and I heard this one woman threaten to spank her son about 12 times. Did he stop doing what he was doing? Nope. Why not? Because he knew that his mom wasn’t serious. He knew that it was an empty threat.

ACP or not, I will spank my child. Because I started when she was little, and because I kept my word and followed through, I have a loving, respectable, obedient daughter who knows that I only want the best for her.

I thought that I would list some things that I’ve noticed just from my experiences with my daughter. If they help you, great. If not, that’s fine too.

1)      Start disciplining young. If you wait until your child is three or four to discipline them, then you are already behind and it will be hard for you to make up for it.

2)      Don’t be afraid to spank them, but know your strength. When they are little, you want to do it more to get their attention and remind them that they are not the boss. As they get older, you will do it more to remind them and punish them.

3)      Don’t go on and on about how you’re going to spank them if they don’t stop doing what they’re doing. If you threaten to spank them and they continue doing what they’re doing, then whoop them.

4)      When you do whoop them, make sure that you give them time to pout, get mad, or go and hide if they need it. But, after about 5 or 10 minutes of that, go find them, sit them down, and explain to them why you did what you did and tell them that you love them. If possible, try to do something together afterward to reinforce the truth of your love for them.

5)      If you count, don’t go past three, and don’t use fractions or anything. Give them until three and then follow through…

6)      You and your spouse need to be on the same page so that your child can’t run to the other and get out of the disciplining. You both need to be firm and mean what you say.

Like I said, these are just things that I’ve noticed. Take them or leave them, but understand that your kids need consistent, diligent discipline and that they will be better for it. If you are a Christian, then disciplining your kids will also help them to understand what is going on when God needs to discipline them and it won’t hamper their view of Him. In fact, it will strengthen it because they know that He loves them.

13 Comments »

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  1. People like you shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. If you haven’t had kids yet, please desist. There are already enough people in the world, and reproduction should only be a privilege of those willing to take the precious and worthy time for loving and raising our kids without recurring to savage, uncivilized, and simply moron-recommended methods of teaching.

    Moron.

  2. Chris,

    Thank you so much for your response. Unfortunately, in your short comment I failed to find your solution to raising children and instead only found personal attacks from someone I feel very safe to say has no clue who I am. The fact that you read my blog and disagree is fine. I have no problem with that. But instead of attacking me and offering no other solution, I would be interested in seeing how you propose to raise children without discipline. You say that having kids is a privilege and I definitely agree. My daughter turns 9 next week and she has been a blessing from God.

    The response that you gave lacks many things, and from your response I would assume that you’re not a Christian. If you were, you might understand my point of view better. Because you don’t, the only thing that you have left is to make personal attacks and name call…

    As I said above, I would love to hear your solution, but not as a replacement for mine. I have chosen to raise my daughter according to scripture and God has done wondrous things for both of us. I wouldn’t raise her any other way…

    God Bless

  3. Amen! I totally agree with the first lady…your children def. need to be disciplined and you need to start yound and as the woman explained, you do need to know your own strength as well….but if yo tell your kid twenty times, stop or I’ll spank you…and you don’t follow trough on it do you really think that your kids are actually ever going to stop or actually have a reason to listen to you…c`mon people get with reality and realize that disciplining your children is a part of life…if you don’t discipline your child…then your child is prolly the kid I saw on tv last night being chased by the police as the kid was running down the street shooting people…and why…because his mother and or father prolly didn’t give him the discipline that he needs or needed.

    God Bless you All!

  4. I have one daughter and although I agree with spanking as discipline, I have never had to spank my daughter who is now 12 years old. She has always been a good kid. Maybe because I am around to actually “parent” har and I never placed her in front of the television set to have it babysit her. I never left the room, leaving her alone for long periods of time while she toddled around the house to get into things. My house was never “child-proofed” and I didn’t have a problem. Perhaps because I was a parent and not some stranger who was gone all day at work.
    I believe in the Stay at home mom and that is where mothers belong so they can take care of their kids and teach them right to begin with.
    (she also never went to daycare. . ..hmmm. . . I see a pattern already)

    • Thanks for the response! I definitely agree with a lot of what you’ve said. I think that many women have been sold a lie when it comes to being a stay at home mom. They’ve been lured away from what God designed them to be by the promise of liberty and power in being a working woman and end up missing out on all of the joys that come with raising children. My daughter hasn’t been spanked in years and I firmly believe that it’s because she’s saved and fears God, she has parents (one mom and two dads) who look out for her and treat her lovingly, and because we’ve been there to guide and direct her. Her mom stays at home and homeschools her and her sisters and it shows. They are a great testimony!

      Thanks again for the comment!

  5. Sometimes you have to spank your kids. I was spanked and I believe
    I am a better person for it. I don’t hate my parents for spanking me,
    and I don’t feel like I was an abused child. I never spank more than 3 hits, always on the butt and never with a belt. (hand only) and it seems
    to straighten my boy who is 3 now up quick. I don’t do it often, but when I do it’s because he truly needs it and won’t listen to reason.
    Empty threats will work just the opposite of what your trying to accomplish. So if you count to 3 and there still not obeying. Get to whopping that butt! Period.

  6. I am curious. I’m a 24 year old parent of two and I come from a family that believed in spanking. I was spanked, and I am the only person in my family to go to college. I believe I am well-mannered and I know my parents love me. I have two children, one who is two and the other who is 10 months. I spank my oldest, not beat, spank, and I follow the instructions to let him know what he did was wrong as well. He is 2 and although he is still learning and forgetful at times, I remind him and he is a great listener!

    My question is this and it’s not an attack by all means! I am learning more of the Bible because I did not grow up with that and am trying to learn more and be closer with Him. But you say your child has you and two fathers? How is it that you advocate that spanking is okay according to God, but divorce is actually not advocated in numerous parts of the Bible and some Gospels of Jesus, but that’s okay? I am possibly misunderstanding but I am eager to learn!

    • Thanks for the question Shaun. It’s a fair question when asked with the right motive. 🙂

      It is true that my daughter has two fathers. And, you are right when you say that divorce is not advocated in the Bible (except in cases of adultery, but that was only due to the hard hearts of men). The only thing missing here is the assumption that I was ever married. As an unsaved man, I did things that were not right in God’s eyes. By His grace and through His Son, I have been forgiven of those sins and have been born again. I am blessed to have a strong, healthy relationship not only with my daughter, but with her mom and stepdad as well. It is only through God’s grace that this happened and all and I give Him all the glory! 🙂

      I hope that this clears things up a little bit? I don’t advocate divorce at all. I really don’t believe in “irreconcilable differences”. I see that as a cop out and think that much of the divorce that we see today comes from the lack of understanding of what marriage is. While many would probably disagree, marriage is a biblical institution. It is a covenant that is made between a man and woman. Unfortunately, marriage seems to have become a convenience to many that ends when things are no longer going the way they expect them to.

      I am glad to hear that you have a desire to grow in your knowledge of our Lord and I hope that you keep that hunger. If there is anything that I can help with, please feel free to ask! 🙂 By the way, if you can find a Precept study in your area, I would highly recommend attending. They are indepth and take some work, but the resulting knowledge is worth much more than the effort you will put into them!

      God Bless,

      Mike

  7. i agree completely! i am 14 years old and i was spanked since i was very young. i am VERY glad that my parents spanked me because i know it has made me a better and more obedient daughter. i love my parents and i know that i will spank my children if i ever get blessed with them. Jesus is the Lord of my life and i am thankful that you wrote this post! it really helped me understand things. i agree that many parents do spank their children out of anger and i think thats when it gets semi abusive. parents need to leave any emotion other than love out of it when physically disciplining their child. as i said, THANK YOU!

  8. This was a refreshing read…in the area where I live, a lot of parents don’t spank their children because they believe in “peaceful, conscious parenting” and “treating the child with respect, as an equal.” As a pre-school aide, I’ve worked with a lot of these children, and guess what? The children with the “conscious, respectful” parents are always the ones that cause the most problems in the classroom.

    In other words: Thank you. God bless you.

    • Thanks for the comment!

      Being raised by a single mom (with two siblings), it was hard for us to understand why we got punished. We didn’t get near as many spankings as we should have, but we did get our share. I think that the whole idea of not spanking your kids does them a greater disservice than the little pain they may feel at the moment…lol

      Not only are our children not equal, they need (and even expect) us to punish them. I’ve found that many of the “conscious, respectful” parents are either Christians who believe that man is ultimately good and therefore they really don’t have to whoop their kids because it will all come out in the wash (these people also seem to be the ones that got whooped a lot when they were little…lol); or, they are non-Christians who base their whole parenting structure on some philosophical, psychobabble that is based on evolutionary thinking and goes directly against scripture….

      The bible says that we are to train our child in the way they should go when they are younger. This includes spankings with the “rod of correction”. The state of our schools (and ultimately our nation) is evidence that many don’t do this…

      Thanks again for the comment! Have a blessed day!

  9. Thank you for blotting this. Sac to say me and other women are going back and forth on the subject of spanking all because Creflo Dollar got arrested for disciplining his daughter. I am a Christian mother and has four kids and I truly agree with corporal punishment.

    • bridgett,

      Thank you for reading my blog.

      I’m usually slow to take anything the news says these days as fact. If Creflo Dollar did what the news is reporting he did, then he went beyond what scripture says. There is nothing wrong with spanking your children. If you are punishing them in the spirit of love and correction then you are going to stay within what is ok. We are never to punish our children out of anger, spite, or malice. We should talk to them and explain why they are getting punished, what they’re getting punished for, and to help them understand that the punishment came because we love them. It is the same thing that God does. This will help them understand that God will discipline those that He loves.

      We have to go back to scripture on everything. Everything that we believe and proclaim must be founded in scripture. There are many other things that Creflo Dollar preaches/teaches that are much more dangerous than the recent news reports….

      I pray that you will find the right balance for disciplining your kids. I pray that you will do it with love and concern in the hopes that it will help them grow to be more like Christ (or lead them to Him if they aren’t saved!).

      Grace and Peace!


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